that little "thing"

Do you have that little "thing"??  You know, the thing that you are working to change more than anything, but somehow it keeps creaping up and reminding you that it's not all that changed..
(if you don't, I don't wanna know :) ).

For me, it is vulnerability.  I will get up on my soapbox and preach to the world that it is the key to growth, but that's pretty funny because it is the thing that I have the hardest time with.

Why would I want to share my heart with people when it gives them a bigger picture to who I am?  My strengths and my passions, but also my weaknesses and fears.  I want to because I want to grow, but I don't want to grow if it is going to hurt....or do I?

In my prayer time this morning I pictured myself in the safest place I could, sitting in my Abba Father's lap and handing him a package that I was holding onto, He took it and threw it away, ahhh forgiveness.  In it was some resentment because I became vulnerable this week and it didn't really feel very good so I was mad about it.  It also had the keys to my heart.  I give Him my whole heart because I want Him in control, even if it is a little scary sometimes.

I felt a little better as I left and then I laughed as I drove home because God had one more picture for me this morning.   It was a picture of me frantically digging through the trash to go find it again.  I wanted to hold onto it a little longer apparently and not heal.   But He showed me the picture so I would have a chance to choose to leave it there I believe.  I am.

I am so very far from perfect, but I can testify to this...God is LOVE and so He calls us to the hard stuff sometimes.  When He does He is doing it out of love!  Shaping and molding and growing us to whatever next thing He has for us.  And honestly, as I continually choose to give him my other little package, CONTROL, and let Him lead, the journey is far better than I could have asked or imagined. 

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Trusting your promises Father.
Amen

So sharing this is my vulnerable thing for the day.......have a great one!