"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you will call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior."
The song I have sung and meant about 743.5 times (I am sure it was interrupted by littles a few times). God has been leading me out to the waters and asking me to walk further than ankle deep....I know it. He has been asking me how much I mean those words and I have been staying very safe close to the shore. Mixing it occasionally with a few "brave" moments. But what if I put myself out there. What if I prayed that the Holy Spirit would fill me and I would trust him, instead of constantly thinking I will fail because I don't have what it takes. Quite honestly, I don't. But God's word is full of inadequate people taking God at his word and living boldly for him.
What if we are STILL comfortable. If we are stepping out safely.....what if God wants us to believe him for so much more than we feel safe believing him for. Like a revival, for healing, for the ability to be confidential, to be able to love that unlovable person, to not be focused on ourselves. If he asks us to do all these things....they are possible!!
Father,
I cannot even comprehend your greatness. Heal my heart, revive my soul...hold my hand as I step into the waters of the great unknown. You are all I need. MOVE God. Blow, Holy Spirit, blow. This world needs only you, I need you. Show me where the garden of my heart needs to be tended. Search my heart, test it and know my anxious thoughts. I want to prune and grow! You are the great Healer, you are mighty, you said if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we could move mountains ......I have that much faith!!!! I pray expectantly in Jesus name!
Friday, November 7, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Can my fingers do this again.
My heart heals as I type/write the words that I didn't even know I was feeling. It is a jumbled mess right now and there are so many things going through my crazy brain. It is time to start writing again.
Lately there are the questions and my constant prayers. They seemed to be intertwined. Why? and thank you,...... twisted together like one of those twizzlers that you can pull apart. (I know, candy as a visual....)
Since my last blog so much life has happened. SO MUCH LIFE. I am more and more aware lately that every single day and minute is a gift whether it feels good or it feels awful....and God is increasingly opening my eyes to what I am doing, and not doing, with that gift.
There is unspeakable joy and deep sadness, unknowns and happy moments wrapped up in the weeks. But the thing that God keeps showing me over and over and over is that He is constant, that He is faithful and that He is holding me in the palm of his hands. I can't keep from praising his goodness in my life despite my questions.
So maybe the twizzler is here to stay ....and I need to quit being frustrated by the question and keep on heading to the place where my soul finds rest.
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. 8 My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63
Lately there are the questions and my constant prayers. They seemed to be intertwined. Why? and thank you,...... twisted together like one of those twizzlers that you can pull apart. (I know, candy as a visual....)
Since my last blog so much life has happened. SO MUCH LIFE. I am more and more aware lately that every single day and minute is a gift whether it feels good or it feels awful....and God is increasingly opening my eyes to what I am doing, and not doing, with that gift.
There is unspeakable joy and deep sadness, unknowns and happy moments wrapped up in the weeks. But the thing that God keeps showing me over and over and over is that He is constant, that He is faithful and that He is holding me in the palm of his hands. I can't keep from praising his goodness in my life despite my questions.
So maybe the twizzler is here to stay ....and I need to quit being frustrated by the question and keep on heading to the place where my soul finds rest.
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. 8 My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63
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